They Always Hurt The Ones They Love

[hopefloats7]

First, I want to send the biggest hugs to my friends here who obviously care very much, and you don’t know how much that means to me. Sassy, you are a darling. Thank you so much. I honestly think there is no better term for this than “rollercoaster” because that is exactly how my emotions feel. Please know that what I agreed upon with H. will be ok right now. Imdi, if he takes anything I’ll keep a list, just in case I need it in the future. Like you said, I don’t anticipate there being a problem with what he wants vs. what I want.

Now I'll post about what happened today:

I was feeling so down this morning, very hopeless in light of yesterday’s conversation with H. I really wanted a sign that perhaps I shouldn’t give up yet.
Strangely enough, on my lunch hour, H. called me twice. The first time it was just to say hi, see if I was home for lunch, etc. I kept waiting for him to say something negative, indicating he was calling for a reason, but he didn’t. We shared a funny story about something that happened at my place of work. He told me he’d gone out to buy some new pants, because he has lost weight (stress) and nothing fits. Conversation lasted about 10 min. and he said he’d call me back later.

20 min. later, he did call again. He wanted to tell me something that had happened while he was at the store (not worth explaining). We talked, I told him I hoped he had a great day.

The reason I am even posting about this is because H. normally doesn’t call me on my lunch hour, and certainly not to share what’s going on in his day, unless he is without o.w. Normally she is the one he’d call to share these stories, not me. So this is interesting and I feel it’s a positive even though I know nothing for sure.

What is so bizarre is how he’s so far left one day, and then so far right the other. Yesterday, he’s talking about apts., and legal separation, and never coming back. Today he’s calling to share little things about his day, the way he used to.

It’s amazing how something as small as a phone call from him in the middle of the day can make me feel so much better. There didn’t seem to be any reason to call me other than he wanted to talk and share the small things of his day. How I miss this. I'm not getting my hopes up. It's just nice to be treated like his friend.

Now if only it can continue like this for a while…