You know, I certainly have looked inward to discover the faults and problems. I've recognized them, and even changed many of them. I am not trying to place blame here, but I have to say that the nature of H's jobs, always causing him to be away for very long periods of time, did not help our marriage. I was so accomodating to his constant departures, always putting on the brave face and letting him go with a "not to worry, hon!" as he left yet again. Then, when he would return, I expected to spend a lot of time with him, to make up for his being away so much. I naturally assumed he felt the same way; I mean, didn't he miss me?! Maybe it was too much of an extreme for him: when away, he had a lot of freedom; when he came back, I was right there, wanting to be with him all the time. But again, I just assumed he was as happy to be back with me as I was with him. He seemed to be...he never said otherwise.
If he does move some of his things out I will be fine with that. I don't expect this to actually be an issue, but I appreciate the advice on how to handle it. And yes, I had thought about the fact that what leaves here I might not see again.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
