Imdi, I do understand H’s point, and maybe I can contribute a portion of the mortgage but I can’t cover half. What he told me was that he thought it was fair that i contribute something towards the cost of running a house that i would be getting a percentage of when we D This is how my H. feels as well. Except in his case, he wants me to cover all the utilities and house expenses plus half the mortgage. I can’t. I know the only reason he’s come to this is because he is going to get his own apt. and will have his own expenses.
H’s belief is that I should have to pay all the house utilities, since I am the one using the power, water, heat, and so on. I had agreed to this initially when he said he’d pay the mortgage. Like yourself, my H. makes much more than me; about 2 ½ x as much. But see, with getting his own apt. now he will have rent, and his own utilities to pay. This is not going to be easy for either of us. The thing is, his brother has not sold his house (I asked), so nothing is forcing H. to move. The only thing I can assume then is that this has something to do with o.w I am not going to quit my current job just to find something that pays more to accommodate this; I love my job and have been doing so well there. It is the only good thing I have to look forward to. Can you tell your H that: if he wants to share in the profit from the sale of the house (whenever that is), then he has to contribute his fair share now? He thinks he is, Imdi, by only paying half the mortgage. He sees that as fair. I’m the one living there. You and I think alike in the buyout option. I won’t agree for him to buy me out, although I know he would love nothing more. But no way will he and o.w. move into our home. I’m sorry; I draw the line there. Oh, and Imdi, never apologize or think you’ve hijacked. Anything you have to say, I want to hear! All I can do at this point is offer what I can possibly pay towards the mortgage while still covering all my other monthly bills and expenses. If this doesn’t work for him then he will have to decide what he wants to do. I just don’t understand what he’s thinking: he wants me to pay my share of the expenses since I would get half the profits of the house when we sell it. However, he says he would like to see me stay in the house, and he doesn’t want to sell it. Huh?
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
