Things are not going well for me at all. I have not heard from my H. in 5 days. I stopped by my house about an hour ago, and H. had been there. He is coming back as he took our dog with him, somewhere. I quickly looked around to see what he’d been up to, and I found a piece of paper with info. about apartments, with phone numbers and such. I noticed the written directions to one place, and then a website for another. I came back to work and looked it up; he is looking for an apt. in the city. He’s been staying fairly rent-free all this time at a house one of his family members owns. I know this person wanted to sell this house, so must be H. is now looking for a place to live. I wonder if that is what prompted what happened last week, when he started calling me and he came over to see me, etc. I think he was testing himself to see if he could come back, and he clearly doesn’t want to. So now he’s apt. hunting. I am scared. Where we live, this is not going to be cheap, and I do not know how we are going to afford both a mortgage and now an apt. with all the other bills. I have to assume he is planning to move in with o.w. because there is no way he can afford all these expenses on his own. I am very upset right now, and unsure if I will see him later on today; he knows my schedule and could easily avoid me if he wants to. I know he has to go back to our house to at least bring our dog back home but I don’t know what time he will do this. I feel him moving further and further away from me. Please help.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
