I didn't control what he spent either, but he felt that way. We shared an account, I paid the bills cuz he didn't want to Yes, this is how it is/was with us, except as I had said before, due to the nature of H’s jobs, I had to manage everything, because I was the one at home (H. could be gone for months at a time, military). It was a practicality matter; I was not trying to be controlling and I certainly never told him what he could or couldn’t spend. But, as you pointed out, he could have a very different view of the matter and since he is still willing to be responsible about the household bills with me, I will be supportive of his choices. I just want him to start feeling better about himself; if this is a way he will, then I’m all for it.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
