Good, Hope. Very good. I think it would seem weird to your H if you didn't eventually pick up or call him back. But you're right on the money: Be upbeat and act as if the other night didn't happen. You'll take back some control that way.
Now, to drag some things over from your other thread:
Can I ask you, how did your H. end up getting beyond the guilt, enough so that he was able to come back?
He hit rock bottom. Having a psycho OW helped. I'm tellin' ya, GF, you can read it a million times and not think it applies to your sitch, but it does: You have to be the girl who gives H space and drops the rope. In the meantime, OW is acting totally psycho. She's mad with jealousy.
Do you remember when I posted on my thread in December about the gift I made for H? The one I took to him when I caught him with OW? It was a shirt that I had made him using an ultrasound picture of our baby. When I walked in on H and OW, I handed H the shirt and apologized for interrupting.
Guess what? H has told me that over the few weeks that followed that incident, OW pitched a hissy fit about that shirt. He said she was soooo jealous about it. In fact (and this is sick), as H was moving back home, OW went into "their" apartment and took the shirt from the closet.
So even after he decided to come home, she was still totally out of control.
You being the laid back, drama-free person -- the one who doesn't beg or cry or act jealous -- makes you appear to be exactly the person you are: A strong, stand-up woman who can live without a man (though you really don't want to ).
So...what's their crazy wish? That we stay put until they are done twisting in the wind?
Well, I think it's kinda weird. They don't per se want you to wait around, because they really want what they can't have. So they want you to move on with your life ... but to welcome them home with open arms if and when *they* finally decide to come back. Kinda selfish, but hey, that's par for the course, right?
A part of me is scared that he will now file. He didn't say that, but logic would tell me that if he is sure he isn't coming home then he will be ready to do this. I guess I have to wait and see what he does next.
There's no such thing as logic in this game, I'm afraid. You're right: Just sit back and wait for him to make a move on D, if he's going to. Live in the moment. The past is too hard to swallow, the future is too frightening. Today, all your needs are met, and your H hasn't filed. Not to mention he's already calling you for goodness' sakes!
Thank you again for spending so much time on this with me.
Don't mention it. You're very welcome. I'm glad you're feeling better.
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