I am trying to relate to what made him angry. I know you mentioned that he does not feel he has much control in the M. So something good happened at work, he has made a huge deal that takes a lot of pressure off of him, and know he can breathe a little easier. Finally things are going his way and things may be moving out of a chaos/panic state, in which he is worried about the business and you financial security, into a situation in which he now feels like he has CONTROL. He was obviously very happy to tell you about this. And even if you gave him more WOA, the fact that you came back with wanting to pull some of this money, this visible evidence of his level of control over his own business, and put it into the checking account is what I think may have set him off.
If his business is finally turning the corner (and this must be viewed in his mind, NOT yours), then why don’t you just leave well enough alone for a while. Let the excess funds stay in the business until there is a pattern of more jobs coming his way, and he can feel assured this is not a temporary fluke before going back to chasing dollars. That is not a comfortable position to be in, for any entrepreneur. Having a cash cushion is a critical component to peace of mind in any business.
In short, I can see why he got upset, and I think you are not doing everything you could to put yourself in his shoes and be more empathic to what he is feeling. Now don’t get me wrong on this – I am not saying he is right and you are wrong, but you cannot claim the opposite (that he is wrong and you are right), which is how HE WILL READ your letter.
You two are suffering from a severe lack of communication. And I think this is because the root fears and desires are not being addressed. Your letter is relevant in that you need affirmation, that he needs to reign in his reactions, and not view things in such a pessimistic light. But he is not posting here, he won’t likely listen to what you say in you defense, so all you can do is slowly set up boundaries to keep him within limits and try to LISTEN to him. Why don’t you just ask him why he got mad? Ad when he tells you, DO NOT rebut him, just listen, ask questions for clarification, NOT justification, and let him know you are listening.
