Hi Gel,

It's not a consequence for him...how will it affect him?

I think it will affect him because he no longer has his dumping ground, and because he will most likely pursue which is when I DO walk out the door - which would rattle him.

I think it is boundary #1

The next boundary I plan to work on is getting him to stop drinking. On that one the consequence will be that I do leave. I plan to give him a year to get sober. But I don't feel I can jump straight to that one without starting by drawing the first boundary and getting him to see that I can get serious with stuff.

If he thinks I don't really mean it on the stop drinking one then it won't work.

Fran

if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs
Erica Jong