Quote: Haphazard, you do realize don't you that he's getting angry at you because you aren't enabling his behavior. You are doing what you need to in order to take care of yourself, as you should, and not allowing him to drag you down with him....this is great for you (and it's what you need to do), but he won't like it....because as I said, you are discontinuing being his enabler.
I am beginning to get this. Didn't have a clue before just thought I must be a horrible person.
If I stop enabling - which I know I have to - the difficult part is understanding that if he doesn't pull through on his own there's really nothing I can do. Getting my head around the fact that detaching and not enabling isn't a fix. It's just knowing that all other options are hopeless and I will drown in his misery unless I swim for it. I fear however that I will strike out for the shore on my own and either he will drown (sink into alcoholism or whatever) or else head for a different shore of his own.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
