Sparkles, (yes I know I misspelled your handle, but the other one is so sad!) What things make you feel closer to your H?
I tend to feel closer to him when we share things with each other, talking and such.
What times do you feel closer to him? Can you intentionally create more of those experiences?
Secondly, could you be one of the many many people who experience desire after arousal? Meaning, you may be searching for the magic cure for raising your libido and it may be that your body just works differently. Do you find yourself becoming desirous once things get going? Could you set up a schedule, say once per week, and see how that works?
Whatever you do, I would NOT wait around for your body to suddenly start desiring sex, as a prerequisite for making love. It may never happen and your marriage will go down the tubes in the meantime. In other words, continue to research and try to discover the root of the problem but be actively addressing the lack of sex in the interim.
Good luck to you; that must be supremely frustrating. As a woman, I can empathize with the complete lack of understanding about our bodies and even further lack of interest in understanding them.
