Hi everyone. I got no replies to my last post but if anyone could read over that and this and offer up any words of wisdom, I would REALLY appreciate it!! I am feeling weak and keep almost doing things that are very much anti db, so I think I need to be put in my place!!
After what happened in my post above, we basically went two weeks without him really speaking to me (other than to ask to speak to our daughter or if I speak to him when he comes to get her) He has been pretty cold, almost angry. Till Friday nite, he came to get D3 for her first sleepover at his house, and was suddenly a bit playful and flirty. He left with her and found a few stupid reasons to call, the third of which was to tell me that I had forgotten to pack underwear for her (which I VIVIDLY recall doing!!!) and could I please come out there to bring a pair before I went out cuz she accidentally soiled them a little. I suggested he wash them out by hand and let them dry overnight on a heater or something and he shot it down ("I have baseboard" Can u imagine?!?!) So basically he wanted me to go out there. (trying to ruin my night? get info on my night? get me to sleep with him? I don't know) All I know is that he and OW are together ALOT and he only takes D3 on Sunday afternoons, so he has his nights to do what he wants, whereas I rarely go out, and when I do he always knows it and subtly asks about it. So I got mad, and when my girlfriend and I got out there I decided to pull past his house a bit so he couldn't see who I was going out with. Well he was PISSED, and asked "why did u park so f*cking far up?" I said " I missed your house (!?!?!). This was after ofcourse he had already asked a bunch of questions on the phone call about the underwear. So ten minutes later he texts me, we had a mini conversation via texts it went like this:
H: Driving by the house is a good trick, did u come up with that on ur own?
Me: (90 minutes later!!) huh??
H: repeats above
M: I don't get it. (trying to make him say what he means!)
H: basically repeats above again.
M: trick?!?!
H: Forget it, I know there was someone in the car and u lied about it.
H: (50 minutes later) No response to that huh? Goodnite.
Now I know I shouldn't have answered his texts at all but I was weak. The problem is, I never really meant for him to think I was with a guy, I just did not feel like he should know one way or another, and was angry that he was playing this game of making me go out there, as if the underwear thing just was too much for him to handle on his own! Actually I shouldn't have gone, but would have felt guilty b/c of my daughter. I would never say no to something for her and he knows that, and used it. Used it well too, I might add! So now he thinks I was with a guy and he seems mad, though that is BEYOND hypocritical. This is in addition to the fact that the reason my daughter was even sleeping there was b/c he couldn't take her for his Sunday, and I had arranged a playdate for her for Saturday, so when he asked to switch days, I said no, and he asked could she sleepover Friday night so he could spend some time with her. (Yeah, a big two hours before bed!) The reason, and this is KILLING me, that he couldn't take her Sunday? He had his nephew's christening!! A FAMILY PARTY!! And though he rambled dumb excuses as to why he couldn't take her with him (first said "I was planning on drinking" but then must have realized how messes up that sounded so he babbled about the church and ther enot being any other kids going except his 2 year old nephew (SO?!?!) and whatnot, how it will be a long day and would be boring for her, blablabla -when really the reason is that he took OW of two months!! He promised me that he wouldn't take her around our daughter anymore and I guess he didn't want to break that, so rather than leave OW home he left our daugher home. Guess it seemed more appealing to him to be able to party with OW at his nephew's christening than to have to be a dad where there was an open bar. How sad. He really breaks my heart. Not to mention that my best friend's fiance was the godfather and so she told me that some of his family was actually verbal about being angry that he brought her instead of their nieces, plus my sister in law is mad cuz she had wanted me to be godmother. Two weeks ago at my house he asked me to go to it with him, and told me he was upset that they had already asked someone else to be godmother. How is he ok with all of this now?? I don't get it. He used to be so differant.
So what should I do? I have thought about telling him who was in the car just cuz now it feels like I am playing a mind game and I don't want to do that anymore. Plus, if I were with a guy, I wouldn't want him to think I was hiding it, why would i have to? That makes it seem like I am being shady. Ofcourse on the flipside , most advice I am getting basically is that I should let him sit on this for a while, since I never actually SAID I was with someone, technically. Can anyone please advise? Thank you SO MUCH!!!!