Hi SS Thanks for posting. Your comment on feeling like your H has stopped ML to you because of the D laws makes me think about WHY our Hs want to D us when they are still so attracted to us. My H says he loves me ALOT but is not in love with me. But I always associated those words with feeling like you really love someone but more like a sister or a brother, and would never want to sleep with that person. Almost like the passion had gone. But when the feelings of love and caring are there, and so is the passion - then what is the problem??? I guess the only answer is that the problem is in THEM, with nothing to do with us. No that we didn't play a role in the deterioration of our Ms, in my case it was probably 50/50. But why are we willing to do anything to make it work, yet they are not willing to do anything at all. I think they are terrified, confused and miserable. I just wish it would show more so we wouldn't feel like they are just moving on while we hurt. Know what I mean? As for the death of your FIL affecting your M, any further thoughts on that? B/c though my M was not perfect, I do believe that this would not have happened to us had my MIL not died. In fact, she went into the hospital for the first time the NIGHT my daughter (who is almost 4) was born, and we never had any problems until I was pregnant, so most of the time that our M was weak, my H was also dealing with his mom's terrible illness. Just not showing it. He acted like nothing was wrong the whole time, and still does. I wish I could just hold him while he lets it all out. But that will never happen. I can't help him now - everytime I try I push him farther and farther away.
