Thank so much for your reply. It is so very comforting to hear someone say that the damage may not be as drastic as it now feels to me, since all of the friends I talk to about this who have NO idea how it feels, seem to just want me to get over it, and are pretty much done telling me whether or not it is hopeless. They do not get why I even would want him back. And sometimes, I understand that. But then I remember my husband, the one I USED to have, before this insanity. And I remember how horrible and drawn out his mom's death was, and how much he has been thru, and how much I believe he is hurting right now. And I know in my heart that he is not the evil monster that he seems to be right now. For some reason, I feel like if I hang in there for him, despite the pain he is putting me thru, that THAT is what marriage is all about, the unconditional love. Guess it just goes against all of what I thought I believed, about strength. For some reason I feel like it would be weaker to just walk away. I don 't know. But regardless, I really appreciate your support. These boards are a wonderful place.
