Hey flutter- There do seem to be a lot similarities in our sitches. And i have to say that the fact that the consultant feels the intimacy is a good thing gives me a bit of hope - thanks for sharing that with me!
But despite the advice I got, my gut tells me that if his attraction to me is that strong, that if I stop giving in, he will eventually have to decide whether he wants to lose me forever. Have you thought about that?
Oh, yeah, i think this all the time. Recently, i was going through this thing where i thought that i should stop being intimate with my H. I felt that he couldn't really feel the loss of me if we were still intimate with each other. But, then i thought that i could use this to my advantage. I noticed the same thing...there aren't many who continue to have sex with their spouses. So, i remain confused. It happened again last night. Just when i thought i would never be with him again, i was proven wrong.
My H and I don't have children, so we don't have that reason to remain in contact, although we do have 2 cats.
As for my H's ow...they work together. There have been sooo many things over the past 2 years or so that have pointed to them having a R (including her ex-H calling me). My H told me a while ago about rumors about the 2 of them. He knows that i suspect something...i have brought it up to him a million times and he always denies it. There are some things i know that he is not aware of. I used to snoop a lot, but i stopped doing that. I have tried to not mention her anymore (as per DBing)...sometimes i am successful with this. I don't know if he brings her around his family or friends. The one thing that does not make sense about their R is the fact that she has 2 small children. My H doesn't hate kids, but he has certainly made it clear that he would be perfectly fine living his life without ever having kids. He feels that they are an "inconvenience" and he doesn't like to be inconvenienced. So, that is the baffling part to me...why leave your W, where there are few responsibilities, to go be with someone with 2 kids, one of whom is sick...i don't get it.
Where in NJ are you? I am in Northern Jersey. I would love to get together - its hard to go out b/c all of my friends are married with kids. Anyway, check out my sitch if you want. I post mostly here...there are several threads, so just search for my name.
