Hi all! I am going to give a brief summary of my current situation in hopes of getting some feedback. My H and I are 29, and from what I can gather he is in the middle of a very bizarre, very early midlife crisis that seems to have been brought on by his mother's death last May. As it stands right now we are separated, since late September, but through most of the separation we were still sleeping together and hanging out some. He was not seeing anyone else, to the best of my knowledge (I am fairly certain), until around Christmas. Since he told me in late September "it is over, I am not in love with you anymore" - he had been very hot & cold - alternating between acting like he had no use for me and acting like he wanted me back. I tried to db through it all but it was tough, everytime he would start coming around I would say or do something that, in retrospect, must have reminded him of his guilt. I think he began to feel like there was no going back. Anyway, he pulled away on xmas eve, I (foolishly!) issued an ultimatum - counselling or divorce. (I was SO upset when he began acting cold and last minute changed the plan that HE had made for us to spend xmas together with our daughter as a family, I just flipped out!!) Needless to say, he pulled away farther than ever, emailing me xmas nite (in response to an email I sent him apologizing for the ultimatum and basically telling him we need to spend some time apart) that we need a divorce. By New Years Eve he had a date for a party, and is now seeing her regularly. They talk all of the time (she threw her H out on xmas day!!!!coincidence!?!?) and spend weekends together, sometimes more. He even brings her and her 2 year old daughter around my 9 yr old stepdaughter (& once by my own 3 year old daughter but I got him to promise not to do that anymore, as I feel that will hurt my child immensely!) Anyway, here is the weirdest part. He still stares at me, flirts with me, aven came right out last week and told me (after two weeks of my dbing)that he wants me so bad (sexually) that he cannot stand to be in my home (which he is every morning as he takes our daughter to school after i leave for work, plus Tuesday nites when he watches her here while i take a class and Sundays when he picks her up and drops her off) So I flirted back and next thing you know he is leaving work in the middle of the day to come and have sex with me. Later that night, after my class, we had sex again. My question is - what is up with that?!?!? He was always against cheating, a real one woman kind of guy, adored me, was a great husband in most ways. To think he is purposely just using me to get it from two women seems unreal. I tend to believe that he still loves me, but is not really sure what is going on in his head yet. What do you all think??? After our midday sex, he said "I am more confused than ever now. My cousin said that relationships that hav ebad sex will never work, but relationships with great sex will always find a way." He is open about thinking our sex is amazing, but just seems so confused. I ended up feeling sad after because she gets his time, friendship and affection, and I just get sex. I mean, I loved it, but I am beginning to feel like if I keep sleeping with him, he won't ever figure out that he misses me. In my heart I believe that he i sjust using her to feel good about himself, and to avoid being alone with himself. I would have been less surprised and hurt if he was just out sleeping around or just found some woman withOUT a baby to mess around with. I don't get the idea of a man who already has two children with two differant women just jumping into a relationship with a married mother of a two year old - he has only known her for like 5 weeks!!! If anything shouldn't he want his own space and time!?!? And on top of that, how into her can he be if he is running to me after only a month!?!? In fact, one week after he took her to the new years party he was texting me at midnight trying to get me to sleep with him. I don't get it. Any advice? Sorry this ended up longer than I planned, I get so confused and freaked out. I love my H dearly, and though I want him to be happy, I do not feel that this will make him so. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!
