Today was a little like mental gymnastics for me. My W was very emmotional today. She has been feeling rejected and depressed since she has cut the OM out of her life. Well today she broke down and called him! Tough on me but nothing I could! She has been nothing but open and honest with me since she decided to put an effort back into our M, so she told me right away when she called and actually told me before hand that she just felt the uncontrolable urge to call! In the end it was good. We talked almost the whole day about how bad the OM was for her, and how it just about ruined everything between us and our family. She apologized again. She also told me she now understands the pain I must have felt when she first left and how bad feeling rejected is.
I am leaving alot out, but the main thing is that I am still detatched. I am not holding on to every word she is saying, and putting all my emmotions out there. It actually feels good to look at everything that is happening between my W and I right now with an objective eye. I am still watching for all the signs that she is committed to making our R work. All I am doing is listening! I am there for my W. At times it is hard to hear my W cry and complain about the turmoils of the realationship with the OM, but it is in away a cleansing for both of us. I have been firm with my W that I will listen and be there for as a friend first, but that will all end if she continues any form of a realationship with the OM (disfunctional or not)
It is truly like beginning a new R with my W. I am not holding any false hope or expectations. My W is openly saying she wants to go to therapy personally to discuss all her issues because she does not completely understand why she did what she did when she consciously knew it was wrong!
So there is hope out there!
Tim
my story http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=1049617&page=&view=&sb=5&o=&fpart=1&vc=1
