Hit the Wall....Am I on the otherside?

[Tim297181]

Well it has been awhile since I posted.

I really had come to the conclusion that my M was over and I was going to be divorced very soon. My W was making no indications of coming back, and had said she wanted a D also.

I was truly able to detatch. I contacted my lawyer, and my W contacted hers. We were still living in the same house. I actually was relieved, and it was like a ton of bricks being lifted off my shoulders!

Then something amazing started to happen. As I began to move forward in only a few days, and became more comfortable with my decision my W began to fall apart. I was no longer protecting her from her lies and her affair. I told my parents what was going on, and my W was finally able to contact her father on holidays, and he knew what was going on!

I also took my wedding ring off! I finally felt comfortable with doing it. I work in a small company where my W use to work. It is mainly woman in the office and they all noticed immediately. Most of them knew the sitch my W and I had so they figured it out very quickly.

All this reality for my W really effected her. Her world began to crumble and the reality of what she was doing was now in her face and she could not run from it.

Soon she wanted to talk to me on what was going on. She wanted to know what I wanted. She was struggling with the fact that people now knew of her actions in regards to the affair. Because of this she became more aware of what her actions were doing, and wanted to talk openly and honestly again.

The trouble was I had decided to move on. The BIG D was the answer. I knew deep down I still wanted my marriage to work. But we still talked, but the roles were reversed. Me talking about divorce and her about getting back together.

So where are we now. It was my birthday on the weekend. It was good. The big thing was my W approached me and told me she was done with the OM and wants to work on her issues and work on our marriage. Then this morning she asked me to wear my wedding ring again. I put it on.

The big thing is I am happy she wants to work things out but I am so scared of the next few steps. I have been here before, and this tentative stage is very ackward and I am not sure if I am ready for it. I put my wedding ring on today and I felt energized and a new sense of hope entered me again, but I question if this is truly what I want?