I think you and I obviously suffer from some of the same issues. The most pressing is that we both have wives who clearly DON'T like not controlling us, even though we have been the controllers in the M to this point. As soon as we even seem to be breaking away they come running to us and try to put the leash back on. Of course, like trained dogs, we immediately sit and let them put the collar back on and tighten up the leash. It's our comfort zone. When you asked for the space and "personal time" she immediately made damn sure she had her thumb on you. When YOU do the same thing it causes a huge fight and you're a controlling bastard, right? All I am saying is that since you saw a CLEAR sign that she is moved to action by your "GAL" then maybe you need to be SURE to follow through. Sure, the kids will ask you to put them to bed, etc, but that's because you're a single dad right now and they don't trust your W to be there for them like you have been. That is wrong, and you following through with your plans will not only give you time to build "you" but it will give your W time to rebuild some of what is missing between her and the kids. I totally understand what happened last night, and earlier on in your sitch, what you did would have been more ok, but in light of what she keeps saying about divorce, I think you need to be more resolved to DO what you need to do without regard to her. I think this offers you the best chance of real success, not only for you personally, but for your M too. Face it, your W needs to come to the realization that you really may be gone soon before she changes her thought processes and sticking around to "read to the kids" or "fold laundry" only reinforces to her that you will continue to be there whenever she snaps her fingers. Really, I am just repeating what OT said to me to a certain extent, but unlike my sitch, your W is openly flaunting the OM, and openly talking D, two things that would surely motivate me towards action on a lot of points OT made. I think your realization that the little DB you did last night worked should give you motivation to really go for it and see what happens. What's the worst that could happen? You could get a D? Well, according to her, that's in the cards anyway. Why not reshuffle the deck...
