Back on the rollercoaster ride! More of my emmotional turmoil than anything. I woke up this morning sad, down, depressed and angry. I know what it is from I had my hopes up last nite. I did want us to take a step forward, and instead more of the same old! I really do want my marriage back, and every morning I see my beautiful W and I can't touch her or say ILY, or do what a happy family should! I am tired of pretending to the outside world that we are one big happy family. My W is living with me and the kids but has a boyfriend, and to people looking in everything looks just fine! What a lie! I am hurting BIG TIME on the inside and just want to cry out. I see my kids enjoy every minute with their Mommy and Daddy, and think to myself this may end soon! I know my W sees it also, but she continues on this path that she has choosen. It seems to me such a selfish decision, and I wonder if I am such a bad person that she would not want to be with me! I know the history we had caused the sitch we are in right now, but past is the past and the future can be so bright only with a little effort from both of us. I tried to talk to her last nite and she did not say much. I told her that I still want our marriage and want to work things out. I am tired of living like this, and I feel we should talk it out again tonite! I know I want that so I can get everything out that I have bottled inside, but she probably does not want that! The only people I talk to about this is through this BB! I have been seeing a C but I am not sure it is helping! I just needed to vent and type a little this morning. I know my W has made the decisions and has to live with the consequences, but I have to live with those consequences also!
Tim
my story http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=1049617&page=&view=&sb=5&o=&fpart=1&vc=1
