It is hard to describe how I have been feeling the last few days. I have had many occasions to flip out and just loose it: -my W has openly spent the nite at the OM, and has had him pick her up and drop her off -our daughter wakes up constantly looking for her Mommy and my W thinks it is no big deal -My W constantly blames me for her decisions, and that because of my controlling behavior she is with the OM, trapped at our house, will have to quit school, and get a job
Anyways the question is how am I going to deal with the future and stop enabling my W. Well after much thought I do want my W to coninue on in school because I do see her happy and finally fufilled at something she enjoys. She can stay here until this semester ends, and I will pay the basic bills required to live. We will set up a schedule with specific nites with kids and nites to cook, so we can both have equal time for ourselves. I will have to be rigid with this, and leave the house after supper regrdless if I have plans or not. This is hard on me because I have been putting the kids to bed and giving them a bath 90% of the time! We will also have to split up household chores. I do all the grocery shopping, cooking, and 90% of the cleaning.
At the end of all this if this does not work then I will go to a lawyer myself. That is not what I want but she needs to be aware that this "pretend" life she has is not reality. Through all this I want to work on myself. I am not going to buy into all the shlt she is trying to push on me. I still want our marriage to work, and that is still my ultimate goal, but sh will have to come to that realization on her own. I hope when she does or the OM starts drinking again I am still here for her!
Anyways I have to sign off for a 5 or 6 days! I am going to Vegas for a convention! Time to catch my breath and have some fun! Also a good opportunity for my W to see what it is like without me again! Hope this big goofy looking Canadian has some luck in "Sin City"! (Not get lucky but find luck...you know that would just complicate matters) Good Luck everyone and stay strong!
Tim
my story http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=1049617&page=&view=&sb=5&o=&fpart=1&vc=1
