For me...and example of me validating my could be as simple as the fact that he's making an attempt now to come to bed naked, the way I like. To validate this attempt at doing something I want I let him know how much I appreciate it by saying something like "honey I really like the way you're coming to be lately, I can't help but snuggle with you (something he really likes me to do) when you're naked in bed."
For me, an example of him validating me is him coming to bed naked. It's something I've asked for, and something he's keeping in mind to do for me.
As far as conversation goes. A few weeks ago I came home excited about a project I came up with that I had permission to take on and lead. My H is horrible about supporting my workplace ideas...he has the outlook of "why bother, nothing you do seems to matter to them anyway." While I was telling him about my project he interrupted to talk about other things...so I had to start over several times...I finally gave up. He wasn't validating at all the fact that I was excited about the project....or had something new to sink my teeth into.
A few days later this came back up. I told him, when I decided to bring up the project again, "you know, you really took the wind out of my sails about this. I was excited about it and wanted to tell you about it....but you wouldn't even let me....so I finally gave up." He said (validating here) "I know, I could see it when I did it, but didn't know what to say." which gave me the opportunity to say...."all I wanted was your support, to say something like "if anyone can do this you can."....I know you don't have the same outlook when it comes to me taking extra projects on at work....but did you think maybe I don't do it for them.....I do it for me?" His response was (validating me again) "I didn't think of that, I can see how that would make a real difference."
See he wasn't problem solving in that conversation, he was listening to me and not offering suggestions....but empathizing with how I felt. I think it's really important when you validate someone to try to at least see the possibility in what they are telling you.
