HP, I'm nodding too. Ideally, your R and your Lover should be your safe haven from the world, etc. The reality though is you need to put a ton of work in to get your R to that point, and once there, it still requires nurturing to stay there. Once there, I think/hope the work isn't as hard and doesn't feel like a chore, but getting there can be a tremendous amount of work. Not having the same LL's just compounds the amount of effort required. He's gonna have to realize somehow that it doesn't just magically get to that utopian point, that he's gotta share in the burden of getting the R to that point. I think if he were putting in as much effort to the R as you are, you wouldn't be here. Am I right?
