cobra, Yep, that is his family of origin. Except that his mother is a sexless lump of a person who thinks sex is dirty and tried her best to emasculate H and any other male in their household.
Ding ding ding goes Cobra's FOO alarm.
But here's the thing. My FOO was one where my mom focused exclusively on her kids, as well. And yet I, as an adult, can plainly see the downfalls of living such a life. And I don't want it for myself. And I'm NOT living that lifestyle for myself.
Why do some folks feel captive to their upbringing and others don't? What's the deal here?
Quote: If I am right about his thinking, then your jumping to conclusions (that his is not thinking of you first) has put him in a catch 22, don’t you think?
I'm not following the catch-22 at all. Can you elaborate?
Personally, I think he just wanted to get me done. To be able to cross it off his list. Although I am a priority in his life, he wants it to be an easy priority..one that does not cause lots of thinking, planning, effort...that's for work and God and children..the inescapable responsibilities of life. I am his safe harbor, his soft place to fall, the fun and vitality in his life. Our relatiionship, according to him, should have an ease to it that precludes any need for effort.
Was he consciously thinking about what to get me, how to make the day nice, how to show his love......NO. In his own words, no. He just wants me to be happy with whatever he does.
Whatever smallish effort he puts forth, he wants it to be enough because he's already tapped out with his other life-obligations.
Cobra, you may be nodding your head thinking, Yeah I can relate to that....but put yourself in my position for a moment and feel how it feels to be on the receiving end of it.
