When H got home I greeted him with an apology for how I acted. He started to say Well it wasn't that great of a gift...and I cut him off and said, What does that matter? It's not ok to act like I did. I really feel bad.
We talked more about the dates and romance thing and he said that he'd love to go out on dates and I said, Fine I will plan them but you will NOT question the babysitter or in any other way pooh pooh the idea once I have it all arranged. I hate that! He is ok with that, although I could see it visibly freaking him out to think of leaving the kids with other kids. I told him that if he would suggest something, I will happily make the arrangements. He was pleased to hear that.
He then admitted that something I said the other day rocketed through him. I said, What?! "Lover. You mentioned that VD is for lovers." Yeah, so? "You are gonna hate me for this but I honestly wasn't even thinking about you as a lover, I was just focused on getting you a gift from the kids." This isn't mother's day.. "Yes I know, I wasn't thinking right."
He went on to say that 'lover' was ricocheting in his mind and he felt bad about being so detached on that day. I pointed out that it didn't help that I was home with 3 feverish kids and on edge anyway.
I think that my husband has just gotten into a bad habit. The bad habit of not dating me, wooing me, thinking of me as his lover. Sure, he has sex with me. He's not EVER going to forget to do that anymore, lol. But the other side of the coin, we've let slide due to having little ones and can't seem to get back in the swing of things. How do other couples do it?
I can do it all, orchestrate the whole thing, force him to leave the kids with a babysitter, try to ignore him looking at his watch the entire time, but I don't want to do that! I want to enjoy our time together.
Why does it seem that one partner hungers for couple time and the other one really doesn't? Would the pendulum swing back the other way if I were suddenly to become as detached as he? He says it would. I told him that is NO comfort to me.
Then we got into a rollicking semi-arguing discussion re: religion. Until midnight.
I think he and I are still passionately in love with each other for the sole reason that we are complete opposites and piss each other off so well.
