Honey... While I agree with Cobra's assessment of the emotional state of an LDH, I don't agree with the Dr. Laura advice. I know my H and I would have stayed stuck had I not taken more of a "tough love" approach. It sucks that it has to come down to that, but as someone here posted, people often do not change until it's absolutely necessary. I think change between you and H is going to take longer than in the situations where you become so frustrated that you're ready to walk...that's the place I found myself right before I found this BB. Now I know you can capture more bees with honey ( okay so I am fixated on honey) but our bees need a little more jolting. This is hard to do in your sitch.
Persoanlly, I think your H sets you up for disappointment as a way of feeling bad about himself. The pressure is on... he knows on some level you need somthing "personal" for VD...he gets all anxious about it, messes it up, and then gets to think of himself as a loser/martyr. I know this dynamic gets tiring for you after awhile. On the bright side, overall I do see progress in your M, lottsa instances where he has come through for you. I agree with Cobra in that it may be best to let this one pass...on the next " high expectation" time perhaps some discussion beforehand (about some " us" time) might help. If the TV tune out becomes a regular pattern I'd say it's time to dust off PM.
