All I can say is that I empathize in a way. My life is not boring, or filled with drudgery like a SAHM's life can be, but I have this longing now, for something more, something gradiose in my marriage. This includes sexual exploration and being adventurous in bed (and in other places in the house and elsewhere ), but that is only part. It also includes any sort of loving activity together, from vacations to just snuggling on the couch watching a movie. All of that stuff is so very sparse in my life, and I want more ... a LOT more. My life does seem boring without it, and I hate boring.
You should read over Talking Points 1 and 2 again if you haven't already. You don't have to have low self-esteem for them to be useful. The points to remember are (1) there is no right or wrong way to feel, there just is the way you feel. You should not apologize for feeling the way you do, having the needs you have, or wanting what you want. The only question is, what do you do with those feelings, needs, wants. (2) You should strive to get what YOU want out of life in a way that you respect. Again, there is nothing wrong with actively making yourself happy, in whatever way you want, so long as you respect yourself afterwards and the means by which you acheived that happiness. You deserve to be happy, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy or going to great lengths to get it.
I'm rambling a bit, I hope what I say makes sense. I do feel for you, your description of your life in that last post was very poignant.
"All I've asked for is an occasional respite from drudgery. For him to, once in a while now, take my mind away from all this."
I'll bet I know what the answer is, but I have to ask. Have you ever said these words directly to him? This is not an unreasonable thing to ask. It is not unreasonable for you both to sit down and establish measurable goals by which you can acheive this respite.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
), but that is only part. It also includes any sort of loving activity together, from vacations to just snuggling on the couch watching a movie. All of that stuff is so very sparse in my life, and I want more ... a LOT more. My life does seem boring without it, and I hate boring.