If nothing else, Cobra, all the sparring we're doing is causing my irritation at H to dissipate. I can even look at the flowers now without wanting to puke. D6 discovered them in the yard this morning, when she went out to play. They had been triumphantly chucked there last night so that I didn't have to look at them. For some reason the sight of them was upsetting me. Once they were gone, I felt instantly relieved. Now they're back but I'm doing ok.
H came home last night in an absolute snit that I wasn't happy with the flowers. He accused me of never being satisfied, etc. I felt so hurt by his words that I sat down in my room and suddenly felt like I couldn't get up. I was thinking, Get up honeypot, you have to make dinner...but I couldn't do it. Just sat there with tears streaming down my face. H never said a word. Finally, I got up and entered the kitchen, my main domain. My whole day with 3 feverish kids was running through my mind and the endless monotony of it all. All I've asked for is an occasional respite from drudgery. For him to, once in a while now, take my mind away from all this. He just wants to do the bare minimum and for me to leave him alone and be happy.
I'm still upset so I can't make a fair assessment of things and, really, what does it matter. He has his perception, I have mine.
Anyway, I think I'm beginning to chill a little and we can hopefully talk about it tonight. IF he can somehow manage to face the conflict he has been so skillfully avoiding.
