My point in telling Honeypot to tell her how her H's comments made her feel was to communicate her feelings....and just that. Not to punish him, but to tell him that this is how it makes her feel.
You know...not hold it in.
Cobra, I have to admit....I think you take some spins on some of the comments women make on here that are hard on us. Honeypot wants "some" romance, her H verbalized to her that he knows what she wants (even described a scenario)....and then followed it up with "but that's not who I am" or something like that. THAT HURTS! As a woman (not saying it's right) that translates to "you aren't worth the effort".
Speaking from my perspective that would say to me he's not willing to meet my need in that area....if my H said that to me. Which is why I brought up the scenario in our MC session for Honeypot....where my H viewed me as the space shuttle....when I'm more like a kite.
For Honeypot....being romanced could mean her H doing things that are small, very simple...yet meaningful to her. It doesn't necessarily have to mean a big candlelit/flowered/musical production with a big white horse and a night in shining armour (which is what he might be picturing). I know I just described something fairly ludicrous....but it's equivalent to how my H was viewing me in our situation.
IF Honeypot has a LL that includes some romantic type gestures....there is NO hope her H will fulfill that need....if she doesn't communicate the need to her H. Or tell him how it makes her feel when he describes a romantic scenario.....and then shoots her down saying "but that's not who I am."
Cobra...I think you often have great points in your comments. Sometimes though, I think you spin what some of us W say as we have an "agenda" when sometimes....all we're doing is communicating.
