Just out of curiosity, and for discussion-sake...what would happen if your H said something like ""I still get wracked with anxiety when my boss calls me in to his office, even at a new job..", and you just said something like...."eventually that feeling will pass." It acknowledges he said something, so you aren't ignoring it....but you aren't "propping" him up or being his "cheerleader" either.
So...what do you think would happen if you just acknowledged a statement like one of those but didn't smooth over those insecurities. Would you feel like you weren't being a good wife if you didn't smooth things over?
With my issue-wracked hubby...I find at times that validating how he would feel the way he feels works best. "I can certainly see why you would feel that way." With my H saying validating things like that often leads him to say something further....then I find my opportunity to validate again. I'm finding when I do this....he talks things out often without me having to give direction or, as you so aptly put it, sooth over his bruised ego when I'm already exhausted (for whatever reason).
