Quote: He doesnt need you to be his cheerleader.(though its nice) He doesnt need you to to prop him up. He just needs space. HE knows things are going to get better. Do you? Why not?
Nope. You've got it backwards. *I* know things will get better; he doesn't. He is a chicken little, remember. He asks or hints for verbal affirmation and I always give it. I always prop him up...after all, I'm only speaking the truth--I do happen to think he's wonderful and talented and a hardworker, etc. But I don't have the emotional strength at this particular moment in my life to keep doing it--especially not when he's ignoring my needs. That's making me something of a whacko. (no further comments necessary from you, dear man)
Quote: Your H is emotionally wiped right now. His whole everything depends on his success with his job.
Well, I knew one of you menfolk would chime in with this perspective and I wholeheartedly appreciate it. This makes perfect sense. Normally I have more empathy for him but I'm flat out worn out and worried about other things....and yet, he just keeps at me with the bids for proppage.
Quote: he will come hunting for you and reward you even more for sticking by him while he was 'gross' --and he knows that he is --in his own mind.
Yes he thanks me almost daily for sticking by him during this time and never losing faith in him. Normally I suck those WOA up like a turbo charged hoover but lately even that doesn't matter. I'm just wiped out. *I* need some tlc from him. We're having a war of who is more pitiful, lol.
Quote: act like a woman and you will feel like one.
Good advice. You know where the source of this current crop of resentment is stemming from? Cause I've been propping him up for a while now and yet the FIRST time that I need a little proppage, he retreats. Oooh she's gross. She's not being cheerful and happy and alive and sexy. She's not dressing like herself...uh, I think I'll just offer to take care of the kids and leave her alone. Kwim? So...what...I'm supposed to take care of his wittle male ego but when the time comes that I'm feeling down and out, I'm supposed to continue to act like a woman? When do I get to relax and schlumpify and still be treated like a woman and not an it? Btw, he is the first to admit that he does not deal well when I'm not my usual cheery self.
So as you can see, there is still a good bit of resentment inside me. However! Today is a new day and I felt a TON better last night and greeted him with hugs and a smile when he got home from his first day at the new job. Oh and a steak dinner. Then I listened with rapt attention to all of his stories (which I really do find interesting, he is never a boring person). So we are back on track, I'm chilled.
Journey, you get the award for making Gloomypot absolutely crack up! Oh my, that is tooooooooo funny. I have to say that I've inspired probably thousands in my short life but usually it's of the "Don't try this at home" or "What NOT to do" variety. I'm so *thrilled* to finally be a positive inspiration and of such an intimate nature, to boot! LOLOL
Things sound like they're well in your house. Glad to hear it woman.
Thank you all for listening yesterday. I was ready to crack. I feel lots better today, now that H finally came home with a good attitude and was much less insecure and needy.
