Hi Girls, Karen, yes, H watched the rugrats while I went to the hospital..he's great with that kind of thing. Anything service oriented and he's all over it. He is less good with offering emotional support, and that goes with smallish things like hugs. Then again, I tend to retreat into myself when afraid/worried and I'm sure I appear to be a tough nut to crack to him. Almost like me going to him for support makes it more real..more imminent. Then again, if he'd hug me I'd likely not be able to keep up the facade.
Lass,
Quote: But Honeypot....the someone getting your hopes up isn't him, it's you.
No it isn't. This is the same request I've made of him since we began this thing. And his reply is always a heartfelt "We'll get back on track by doing xyz..." which I believe and look forward to. These last months he has followed through with everything he says he will. This time, he said the words but did not follow through with the action. Hence me having dashed hopes.
Am I not giving him room to stumble? Perhaps not.
Like I said, the first week I just made a small comment and we talked it through and agreed on a course of action. Then the very next week it was more of the same. Should I just go, Oh he's stumbling again..poor dear...? What would have been a genuine way for me to handle it, respecting my own position of 'I do not want to say the same things week after week' and his own position of being overwhelmed at the moment.
As far as what I've told him, shoot, is there anything I haven't said to the man, LOLOL. Seriously, I will say that to him about the having patience. I don't think he'd take me up on it and ask for patience, he always seems to think he can pull it off, *whatever* it is.
Ok, back to you Karen. I've been thinking while typing. What do I need from him. I need him to provide some semblance of a normal life while things are going haywire. I need him to continue to act like a strong man and not bombard me with the task of propping him up, day after day after day, and then being too pooped to reciprocate. I asked him last night if he thought that he validated me as a woman...and he said no. I am very measured with my words and make sure that what comes out of my mouth boosts him, instead of being either neutral or derisive. His words are almost universally neutral. Anyway, what do I need. I need him to act like a strong guy that I can lean on, if necessary.
