Hugs - sorry about your Dad and your sis and H's preoccupations.
Do yourself a big favor and take a deep breath. I think you might be jumping the gun on H's regression. He is precoccupied. He is tired. You have pointed out the problem. Give him a little time to work on a solution. Even if he can own part of the problem he isn't likely to jump immediately to doing different behaviors - it wouldn't feel genuine to him or you. Give him a week and readdress if you have to. Just try to relax and be with him without a lot of expectation while he gets himself together.
Also, with your Dad being sick you do need some other types of support from H other than PT and sex. What do you need? Are you mad because he isn't giving that type of support. For example, is your Dad local and are you able to see him. Could H watch some or all of the kids in order to allow you to do so? Do you just need to cry on H's shoulder? What do you need?
