I wonder if your wife feels that you do not desire her as much as you used to? I am wondering if you felt embarrased after being cauht masterbating and so for that reason didn't attempt to ml to your w? From a womans point of view if I was worried about my figure (you mentioned she had put on wieght), caught my H masterbating over some stick thin blonds and never came on to me after that I would assume i did not turn him on any more.
Instead of heading full steam into an I WANT SEX discussion perhaps you could do something a little more subtle? Buy some massage oil and offer to give her back a rub? Or even her feet if she is unhappy about stripping off. You could tell her that you miss being intimate with her, I am sure she would like to hear that.
I really do think you need to 'woo' her again though.Almost like she is a new woman. Give her flowers, the odd card, tell her and show her that you care.
