Hey welcome to the BB. Ok, first things first...you are going to have to talk to her about this. You haven't had sex since 1988, and you haven't ever talked to her about this? You must. This issue will not be resolved without communication.
I'm quite sure you are in a lot of pain over this issue, it is a very painful issue, we know that all to well on this BB. But you must sit her down and talk to her about this. I suspect you probably haven't talked to her about this before because you are embarrassed to do so, and yes...she could say something that would cut you to the bone. Try to keep in mind though, that if she does this....she's probably hurting too. She may be just as concerned about this as you are but it's amazing how few couples will actually talk openly about sex....so many people are too ashamed or embarrassed.
It's important when you do talk to her not to place blame, it's easy to accidentally fall into this. Keep your sentences in "I", tell her how you feel about all of this. Tell her you want her, be specific. But if she opens up and starts talking....make sure to listen, try not to get defensive.
I don't know, but I wonder if when she caught you MB'ing to the movie if she felt "she" wasn't good enough for you in some way (just guessing on this). I'm sure though she probably had some reaction at least internally, otherwise why shut down all contact?
