What person? Perhaps one that sees you as a friend. Maybe one that feels guilty that you are hurting or still hung up on her?
Well, I know that my "friends" would always be up front and honest with me. They would never let me linger. I mean she knows I care for her and such. So, a friend would come clean and say "I don't think we should meet like this; because I know it will only hurt you."
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What would you do if nothing ever materializes between you? Will you be okay? What if you find out she's dating someone else? What if she even drops the bomb that she's engaged? Will you be okay regardless. You shouldn't need her in your life to be happy and complete. Can you say that you could take her or leave her?
If nothig ever materializes, that would be sad; because if she ever really did love me and our relationship, then she would see it is solvable. Our problems are minor. I was talking to my cousin, in Hawaii, last night about my son...she has an autistic child. Anyway, she like me had issues in her marriage and then they both realized that what you were brought up like is what you bring to your marriage. And I like her came to the realization that yours nor the spouses way is necessarily correct. What needs to happen is to open communication and really listen to each other. Am I guilty of not doing that during our marriage? Sure, and so was she. I see her spewing to me about all the guilt of the affair and how she always messes up her life. I just listen and don't judge. Seems to me, that is what I would and most would want in a marriage. How many people would take someone back after an affair and also forgive them??? Yes, some will; but alot wouldn't.
What woud I do if I found out she was dating? Well, first off, I would think she wouldn't do things with me. Second, it would hurt; but it's not like I wouldn't date too. Only reason I keep doing things with her right now is because nothing of substance has happened from my dates. If it had, I would probably stop doing stuff with her.
Will I be okay? Sure, I will. Like I said it might hurt to go through all those chnages and hope for reconciliation and then not have it happen; but I know in the end I made changes that I needed to do. Also, I know tht there will be someone else if that is the course this takes. I guess I am just the type to want to make sure that we both have no interest in fixing it before I give up.
I think the only unhappy part of being with someone other than her is the same thing that makes me unhappy now. Not being there every day to see my kids grow up. Thatis not why I want to be with her; but it is the part that is tough to live with.
Frank
P.S. I also think that I get discouraged that in some ways, and rightfully so, I am restricted by her decisions on where she moved. If I want to be near my kids and see them as often as I can, then that really limits my dating pool. I mean I don't want to go 50miles the other direction and like someone and then have to decide between them or my kids. That would hurt almost as much as the divorce did.
