Quote: am going to try an get my kids and I together on Sunday for a family portrait whie she is working. She even gave me her discount card to the portrait shop. Whatperson does this for a ex she divorced and doesn't want?)
What person? Perhaps one that sees you as a friend. Maybe one that feels guilty that you are hurting or still hung up on her?
Frank, as my wife opens up, I'm finding that when she said she wanted to be friends, that is what she meant. She knew I was hung up on her and was hurting and she wanted to help me through it because she still cared. But she says she didn't want to try again with me because things would go back to the way they were before. She said she was actually happy when it seemed I was moving on.
These are harsh realities for me. Maybe those are things she told herself. Maybe despite what she told herself, her actions said to me (and to other people as well) that she wasn't over us. Regardless, she says that she didn't want to try again with us.
I think if you want to continue with the contact, swimming, whatever, that it's fine, but you should temper your expectations that she wants something more from you. And I think that emotionally you need more detachment. What would you do if nothing ever materializes between you? Will you be okay? What if you find out she's dating someone else? What if she even drops the bomb that she's engaged? Will you be okay regardless. You shouldn't need her in your life to be happy and complete. Can you say that you could take her or leave her?
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
