sam, thanks so much I really appreciate all your input and suggestions. Man if I could make this work and she was happy too, I would give both you and Wes a big hug!!!
I felt like it could always be; but not sure if I would ever get a chance from her. Not sure if I will still get a chance or that if I do, that I will want to fix it; but I know I feel like I want to.
This is the closest she and I have been since the separation and subsequent divorce. I wnat to believe that it is real and that she cares back and is just working through things and will eventually get to where I am as far as showing that she cares and feels the same. I just have my guard up; because I remember the pain of when it first happened and I don't want to get there ever again; but am willing to take the chance.
One other thing, as I may have mentioned...I am so angry at her for leaving, not talking together about this (Yes, she did say things sometimes; but never an actual lets sit down and talk), her affair. I can't believe I haven't unleashed this on her. I think right now it is because we might have a chance. It is when she says it will never happen. That is when I fear that it will come out; because I have tried so hard to be understanding and who I think she wants. Yes, I am not faking it. It is me and who I really am. I just lost sigth of me along the way. Mostly because of not handling marriage correctly.
I will add one more thing I forgot from yesterday. I remember my X saying how it was dead at the restaurant she waitresses at. then she said how on the way home she saw the hotel there so busy and she figured it was the restaurant and how come they were busy? Then she says taht it turned out that it was one of those singles dances. She said that she was surprised that so many people go. She din't think anyone wet. That kind of deflated me thinking that she has interest in that. Making me feel like she would choose that over me.
Anyway, I always feared going to those because I figured they would be dead and boring., with no people my age.
