Man what is with my X? I get a call from her and she says she wanted to make sure that I am getting my son from school today; because she is working. I told her yes and she said she would call whe nshe is done to let me know I can bring him home. (I know thatand I hate bringing him "home" I love him so much )
Well, then she mentions a couple of other things including the Dept. of Revenue, which handles child support stuff. She starts telling me that she needs to contact them; because she is still not getting the money in a timely manner. She knows that it is automatically deducted from my check and that I am not the one holding it up. We did this as more of a convenience than for any other reason. In fact, it was working so much better when I handed her a check every week. Well, she starts complaining that she is short on cash and that her bills are mounting and that they are going to cancel her car insurance and that she has to pay double the amount because she is late on the payment. (Man it is so hard not to just say...It was your choice to initiate this divorce and that is now your problem. I feel bad and had even offered to front the money till it comes in; but she didn't want to do that. Now she tells me that someone, probably her mom, told her to start getting weekly payments from me until it comes in and then reimburse me and then we could go to court to have it changed to me paying her directly. Hmm sounds like what I originally offered!!!) Well, I told her that she will probably not get far with them. They will just tell her that she needs to go to court to get the method of payment changed. I offered to go in with her and we may; but hey I am so sick of being the good guy. It goes unappreciated.
Well, towards the end of the conversation, I told her I am upset that this gets so screwed up and that my kids don't get what they should on time. She starts defending herself saying that the kids are getting what they need. Getting fed, have a roof over their heads, etc. She says: "Your kids are being taken care of" I am like why are you making like I am blaming you? I am angry at the Dept. of Revenue for screwing this up!!! Man she just doesn't get it. We are on the same page and she is trying to make like we have a problem. Hell, I have done all the right things and I still am the bad guy.
Then she starts talking about her job and that she is requesting a day off when our son has a doctors appointment. She starts spouting about how she is going to set the ground rules right now as to when she can work. She tells me that if they don't give her the day off, then she will just take it regardless. Obviously, this job isn't all she wanted it to be!!!
I feel for her; but I want her to acknowledge that she is the one who put herself in this position not me. I am not to blame for her hardship. On the other hand, she is to blame for what I lack. The company of my children everyday...the company of a family and wife. She has destroyed all that and somehow I have to just listen to it. She gave up that right long ago. Unless of course she wants to work on things. She also starts on how the kids don't want her to work nights, etc. Well, when you have no background or skills, that is what happens. She had ample opportunity after High school to get a degree and always found a way to screw it up by being with some guy. It's about time she felt some pain too. I love my kids and the family we had and she just wants to complain because life is a little hard for her. Wake up and smell the coffee...life isn't free. I would trade places with her in a minute to have my kids there all the time. She can't even appreciate that. She can't appreciate that even though I got dumped on by her, that I have made positive efforts to improve myself and hopefully put our marriage back together. Sure, a month ago when there was a crisis, who did she turn to? ME!!! Now I guess I have outlived my usefulness. Well, yes, I am venting, so that I don't lose it on her. I deserve better and will have better. It just saddens me that it will never involve my kids enough or her. I assume that this is probably the end for us. Not that it wasn't probably over awhile ago for her.
I really thought she would come around based on how she was acting a month ago. Now I feel like she is more lost than I thought. Why, I ask does she get the kids, a house, etc. and gets to screw the OM who was married and noone ever finds out. Me, I tried to do the right thing and for now, I get nothing. Seems unfair. Oh well, like I said just venting.
So, NY and Just, do we now say it is over or is there still some hope. Is this normal in the process for people who eventually fixed things or is this too far gone???
Well, got to go in a minute to pickup my son and take him to see Curious George. See, I am GAL!!! lol
)
