Quote: but that still doesn't explain why she at times wants to do these things
Maybe it's more "willing to do these things" than wants to do them. I'm suggesting being as pleasant as possible when you do see her (at pick up and drop off of kids), but kind of depart from the current pattern of finding things to do with her (ala "wanna play some pool"). Go swimming if you want, but don't invite her. Don't ask her to do anything with you. Act a little more like you don't care. You can be around her when it has to do with the kids without appearing hung up on her.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
