Well, went over to put in the cable lines and she was making dinner for them. they ended up eating while I worked on the lines. I remember she used to say that whenever I might be there that I am was more than welcome to eat with the kids; but she never offered. That was okay; but it would have been nice if I was at least asked. I mean what did that teach the children? That their dad is insignificant?
Well, I kept workingand then she just went downstairs and hung out with the kids like I was just some worker there
At one point, we were talking the billiards and she had gotten some new sticks. She tells me that the brother in laws told her she was pretty good and she should come to pool some Friday night. This is the same pool get together where my ex-inlaws and my coworkers and I go. She saidshe had been thinking of going sometime; but that she had been busy they were getting together. I said how come you never went with me before? She said you never wanted me to go and you hardly used to go because you didn't like those guys. I told her that I always wanted her to go and that it would have been more fun and a chance for us to get out together. I said I stayed hom with you; because I would have rather done stuff with you and the kids. I also told her that it wasn't true that I didn't like those guys. I do find some of them strange; but I felt like doing family things togethr was more important. She replied let's not go down this path. So, I dropped it. For some reason, she has this revisionist history about how things were. I mean both of us found stuff that we together didn't like about hanging with her family; but I was never against it. In fact, I am the only one of the son-in-laws to go to everything. The othrs always found an excuse at times to not go. I don't want her back just to hae her. I want her back because shewants to be back. that is what is so tough. Wantingto talk to her about it; but knowing that anything that I might say would be like tryingto convince her and I don't want that; because she would come back and then feel like she was cooerced. I want her to come back of her own free will; but without some nudging, I feel like I won't know what she is thinking.
At one point I needed her help to move something and I said "Hey Hon, can you help me move something?" She said "Where did that come from?" I wasn't messing with her I meant it. Well, I finished up for the night and my daugter nd her were playing pool. SO, I asked her if she wanted to play a game before I left. She did and we ended up playing 2 games. During the game she laughed at a line in a song she liked. I assume it related to OM...Then I asked her about a cd that I couldn't find...She said she might have i and that the song always reminded her of the Movie City of Angels...She said she had watched it twice and that she took crap from someone about watching it. I asked who; because it was a good movie. She first said she couldn't remember. Then I said you can't remember. Then I realized it was the OM and she said she realized who and that is why she didn't say. Well, I got her that movie from the kids at Christmas. So, this wasn't too long ago I do believe he is not in the picture still.
Well, we finished playing pool and then I left and she thanked me and said that the kids will be happy that the tvs will have cable soon.
I just feel like I am not as good in her mind as the OM and that it will never get fixed. And if that is true I am just sad. I will give it more time; but it just feels discouraging. I am a better person and whoshe supposedly wanted. So, why not recognize it!!!
I so much want to ask her what the hell she wants??? I mean why hang with me if you have no intention of fixing things.
Frank
P.S. My X is working Friday night and she told my daughter that she couldn't tkae them to family swim at th Y on Friday. I told her I would like to take them then. She said oh I am not sure if my parents have anything planned with them. I said that I am their dad and would liketo do that with them.
