I guess I really thought that based on her complaints when we separated that my changes would make alot of difference. I guess I felt we were the classic example of someone who acted too hastily in divorcing and that by my working on me that she would appreciate it and come around too.

It sounds like that's the scenario you had in mind, and it hasn't panned out that way so far, and so you're disappointed.

Yet it could work out a different way, T. Why not forgo such expectations and let time do its thing, and see how life unfolds?

For her, I am disappointed that she doesn't acknowledge the changes, that she doesn't see her faults and that she doesn't give things a chance... I mean if I was still doing the things she complained about, then fine; but I am not...

So, when do I get to reap some benefits from this stuff???

You're already reaping benefits, just not yet everything you'd like.

If you mean when will she acknowledge your changes?... that may come sooner or later. Look at my sitch: WAW out of the house, living with BF for almost two years now, living 130 miles away, limited contact with me, haven't seen her since last July I think, no ties between us, divorced... then out of the blue she emails me recently, opening up some, writing that she sees things in my [few] emails to her that makes her say, I don't know this guy anymore. He's completely different than the man I remember living with all those years. He seems incapable of being the kind of guy he was.

What did I do for a major part of that time? Worked on myself, my issues, my healing. It just shows in how you breathe; it spills over unknowingly into other aspects of yourself, somehow, it shows, even through limited contact and miles of space between.

What's happened with her in the meantime? Beats me, but it sounds like she's discovering that things still don't work great for her as she envisioned once upon a time so diehardedly they would. Also, a bunch of time has passed wherein I haven't added to her justification, but have, by showing that I was capable of changing, that there wasn't any justification. Moreover, I've given her maybe about a year plus of positive contact.

What I'm saying is, we make changes, improvements, in ourselves, for ourselves. Time and circumstances can change things from the way they are today. And WASs may and can notice and reflect.

lol I mean if not with her, then why not anyone else? I feel like I always lose out to someone.

Are you kidding? We are wonderful people We've gotten our heads cleared and can only attract other wonderful people, as all others cannot relate to us well because we don't play their dysfunctional games anymore.

but I feel like I will never have that love again. I mean it took 22 years to find the person I wanted to be with and then another 10 to finally get her

Let's see, in my case, it took me 26 years to find my first W, then after that ended, took me 7 years to find my current ex, so the way I see it, your track works one year faster than mine. So what are you complaining about?

But in any event, life doesn't know these numbers so as to replay them forward going, and true love could be right around the corner for all we know.