My X called me about 5minutes ago from her sisters house. She was supposed to call me by 3pm to let me know if my stepson and I were meeting up to workout at the gym. Seems he is still nursing a cold and congestion. Anyway she told me that he said "Do I have to go to the gym today?" I was kind of disappointed at that and half wonder if he is pulling back from me and not interested in going or if it really is the homework and stuff he has on Wednesdays??? Well, she told him that she understood with all that he had on his plate, that he could stay home and maybe go outside and shoot some hoops, toss the football around and such. She never told me why don't you drop bty and play catch with him Guess I shouldn't have expected that anyway; but hey I can always hope!!!
I have tons to do at work anyway. Well, I then said I will see him on Friday to workout. I will pick him up at school and then drop him off at his dads? She said yes. then I said I will see you tomorrow at 9am to swim? She said yes.
Hey maybe it is for the better that we pull back a day; but I will miss seeing him. It was getting nice seeing him that much.
We chatted for a few minutes. Then, at that point I let her go and hung up the phone (she was at one of her sisters house). I was actually proud of myself for not tryingto hang on long with her or attempting to convince her that he should go today.
Like I said in the previous post...I feel like I have a habi that I can't kick!!! Man it is so hard to turn off feelings like she seems to do. She is good at it. I still wonder what all this is about. Like I have said so many times before, I would never do stuff with her if I didn't want to. But maybe I am wrong on how people think. I mean I don't know how many times I have had people tell me: She is probably doing it out of guilty feelings. I guess I just don't follow that one.
It is true that she doesn't seem any closer than weeks ago when she did seem to be loosening up; but hey what do I know.
Just, I am trying to let go a bit; but I still need that fix, that contact right now. lol I know you have said be patient and it has only been a short time that the OM has been out of the picture. Let me ask you, and I know you don't know her or I personally; but do you believe any of the interactions she has had with me give any hope or is it just a temporary thing and it has no chance? I feel like I need to give up for my sanity; but I am afraid if I do, that it could never happen.
Sorry, same old same old...just insecurity and venting.
Guess I shouldn't have expected that anyway; but hey I can always hope!!!
