I hear you; but man is it so hard to let go of her. I mean I love being around her and the swimming is a way to do that. I know I may be setting myself up for major letdown; but as much as I go do other stuff, I look forward to seeing her and I know that with her new job, it will be less and only by swimming or talking on the phone, which is not something I tend to do. Usually, I get a call from her about soemthing and such; but not alot. I guess I feel like she may be unsure of things and that is why she does stuff with me. However, a few others that I know have told me she does it out of her own guilt and that I should just walk away. I can't right now and that may set me up for a big fall when she finally does meet someone else
Maybe she will want an us; but we will have to wait and see. She has never been the type to initiate things ever. So, I am unsure of how to approach this with her. She is the type who will see the detachment as me giving up and she will just hold in her emotions regardless of any feelings for me. However, I do agree with you that I need to find a way to be a little more detached from her without giving her the impression that I have given up totally...
Yes, as you said in your post on your thread...Today is ver y hard. It is especially hard for me, as this is the second valentines day without her and the first was occupied by my bringing flowers to a friend who had gotten divorce before me. I just wanted to do soemthing nice for someone and that is what I did last year to get through it. I never thought that a year later, I would be in a sitch where I would be hanging with her. So, this is all new, confusing and exciting to me; but it is also dampened by the reality that there is still not an inkling of an us and that it may never happen. Why I am doing this to myself is confusing. Part of me says give up and the other doesn't want to.
This year, I got her a generic card and one from the kids with 2 gifts for them to give her. Of course she will know that they are from me too...I just hope she doesn't fell weird that I did that.
