What do I make of this - Part 2

[Just_Me]

I don't want to read it the wrong way and totally give up if this is a phase that they have to go through. I know in the end it may never be; but I would hate to walk away totally and find out that this wasn't necessarily the end.

Tman, who knows whether this is normal, but yes, mine acted like that from time to time. That is the time to be at your best and least affected by her moods (good luck to you on that). She'll likely keep you at arms length and that is your cue to stay at arms length, not grasp at her because you fear she is moving away from you.

Tman, what would you do differently if you took this as a sign to quit? I struggle with the concept of the person that has "given up hope" and those who have not. Quite a few would be lying if they said, "I wouldn't take him/her back if he/she suddenly wanted to try again". I think what anyone on this area should understand is that your attitude, emotions, behavior, whatever should be the same regardless of whether you have hope or no hope, want reconciliation or don't want it. This is about getting yourself to a good place regardless of your XW. Deciding whether to "quit" or not is arbitrary; you just focus on yourself and do what feels right. The reason I harp that you are too focused on your XW is because you are always trying to interpret her facial expressions, moods, statements, or behaviors. You try to interpret them to give you a clue what you should do. If you get to the point where you aren't tying your own emotions to her, you'll be better off for it. It's not something I have mastered, but I see the need for it. I also sincerely beleive that until she knows you're happy and content regardless of the outcome of your relationship, she won't see you as someone she wants to be with. Get a life, get complete, be happy, and then you won't feel the need to read her mind in order to know what to do. She has no input in what you do, just as you have no input in what she does.