Well, I saw X last Friday when I dropped my stepson off after working out. She talked; but continued her coldness and standoffishness. Talk about tearing me apart. One week before I was the person she needed to talk to, we actually got along, etc. things were good...Now here we are back to her being standoffish. I don't get it???
Man, am I a fool, is this a normal thing for the X to do....I wish I understood what was happening here. I hate to be made a fool of. How does one go from needing me and help to getting cold and distant. I mean, sure I can understand someone questioning what they are doing after walking away; but for I would think that her coming to me and me listening to her and being there for her unconditionally would make something click in her head. It seemed to; but then back to distant???
I honestly don't believe she used me; but I don't understand what is going on.
I feel like crap all weekend while sorting through stuff and then this morning I go to put in a load of laundry. While I am doing that, my cell phone must have rung. I go upstairs and because I still haven't found anyone to go to the concert tonight, I check my phone to see if anyone has called. I look and am pleasantly surprised to see my X's cell number as a missed call and that there is a message on it.
Well, I call back; becaus the message didn't make sense. Turns out I listened to an old message. Well, I get her on the phone and that is when I find out I listened to the wrong one. My X tells me that it was my daughter who called. She puts her on the phone and typical of my daughter, she can't explain what she needs. So, I ask her to put her mom back on. My X comes back on and I find outthat my daughter is looking for something to playback the tape she made for a school project. I tell my X that I have the cable and can drop it off when I drop off my stepson after we workout. She says ok. Then I ask her how everyone is doing and she says fine and is short??? (Hell, I just was being friendly!!!) So, then I say I'll talk to you later and it is like she can't wait to get off the phone???
What the hell happened to the woman last week who needed to talk and I was the one she needed. What happened to, regardless of her feelings for me, a bit of cordialness because I was there for her??? I mean am I an idiot? Is she doing this because she is lost or confused or am I just holding on to something that will never be? I wish it could; but I can't do this even though I don't want to let go.
I know I promised her that I would keep her medical scare and affair a secret; but the more I think about it and the more she acts thi way towards me, I think it was a totally unfair request to make. I mean, she just gets to go on with her life without any repercussions from family and gets to keep living a life with the kids daily, etc. Meanwhile, I do the right things, worked my butt off the past year to improve myself and hopefully get us to improve our relationship and poof nothing. I lose my wife, my family and why? Let's see. Oh yeah, because I tried to fix things. Man I know people have it worse; but it seems so unfair that she can do what she has done and I am the one who loses the family, etc. It seems like she is starting to get her life together and that I am the person she wants to work with and then nothing!!! I am so disappointed. Is this just part of the process or is she truly done?
Maybe someone who has been there can tell me whether this is normal or if I just hoping for something that will never be? I know that noone knows my X; but has anyone experienced similar setbacks and then eventually had end up being okay?
Just looking for answers, as this behavior seems so contrary to what I was seeing and expected to see from here on out. I mean, I knew thtere would be setbacks; but she has become more standoffish than she has been in a long time. I know that if someone had been there for me like I was with her, that I would appreciate it and regardless be nice and not short. I mean I feel like I should just tell her offand say how selfish she is and unappreciative; but then that would just create issues between us and possibly prevent me from seeing my stepson. Man it is like she get s to control everything.
Please, I can use some advice on how to deal with this or how to distance myself so that she doesn't think this is bothering me.
Frank
P.S. LIke I said...to top it off, I still have noone to go to the concert with. Pretty sad, huh? I can't even find one person to go. It just gets me down and makes me feel like a loser, even though I know I am not. When will this all just end???
I come across cards that she saved from me, from my stepsons dad and I find similarities in what we wrote. Being there for his son, me for my kids. How we miss her, etc. I even as mentioned in previous thread found a card from X that thanked me for putting up with her one week...Hell, I would do anything for her or someone I love. Iwish I could get her to go talk and get help; but I can't push her.
