I applied the principles. I acted up beat whenever talking to her. I tried to sound happy. I tried to be happy, but it is hard to do when you're thinking about the dude that is nailing your wife at the moment. WOW! That kills me. I thought she was the one. She was so special. She didn't even tell her family about this. She just kept it in and waited until the last possible moment and left.
I have no idea what to do now. My job requires a great deal of "awareness" and concentration. If not, bad things will happen. It almost happened the other night. I was distracted, and something bad almost took place. Let's just say I'm lucky to be here now.
I try to think about other things, but when I'm working, and not around many other people, it is difficult.
I don't want to die, but if I can't somehow slay my demons, someone might take the opportunity and do something bad.
