still living apart but having a relationship again

[Just_Me]

c1t,

But the one thing I do know is that forcing him into making a decision is NOT the right thing to do.

I'm not advocating "forcing" anyone to do anything. That is something that essentially doesn't work. I wouldn't say one word to him about the other woman. But your actions to me say "I'm fine with you having another woman. I don't mind sharing you or sleeping with you when you are sleeping with someone else also. I'm here for you whenever you need me". I'm advocating not putting your life on hold waiting for him to make a decision. That you keep things friendly with him, but also keep looking after yourself. Does it feel right to you that whether you try again is a decision that is entirely his? Don't you feel you have a say on whether you personally want to try again?

I would like to respectfully disagree with a previous post. I agree, be true to yourself, but I don't think that going with your heart and your head is always the best policy. That's what DB is entirely about...sometimes the right thing feels wrong to us....thus at the beginning the lesson is not to suddenly grab on harder, but instead let them have space. I'm sure our head and heart tell us that love letters, flowers, presents, long relationship talks, etc will get our spouse back and that stepping back from them is the wrong thing.

I do not think that it's a bad thing to at least give him the idea that getting back with you is not a given. He shouldn't just expect that you'll be there whenever he "decides" to commit to the relationship. You have as much say over your future relationship with him as he does. But I like your plan....

BUT from now on this has to be about me!!
I have made my decision to chill out and just see how things go with my H, but in the meantime I will prioritise in looking after myself and my little daughter and enjoying life and being happy on our own...
Then whatever develops with my H will be a bonus.