I'm really struggling with this situation. His words and his actions are completely disparate. When I read this I hear a man that basically wants to keep having sex and dates with his estranged wife, the same thing with a girlfriend, and not have to make a commitment to either one. He also shows all the signs of wanting you because someone else had you....basically only stringing you along so that you won't date other men. And then he gives you all this hooey about him working through his jealousy. That is hogwash. He is seeing OW and yet jealousy of you with another man makes him jealous?
If he came to the house today and said, "I want to try again", and then promptly went to OW house would you believe him? He has one foot out of the relationship and will run at the first sign of trouble. That's what he's saying. He's saying....I'll try with you as long as we never fight or this never gets difficult.
My advice. Go back to the life you had...the one that didn't include him. Be friendly and have conversations, but don't have sex (it doesn't mean as much to him as it does to you) and don't talk about trying again. I think that until he gives up OW and makes an honest effort that there is nothing there to work on. Would you want him living with you as man and wife if he just continued to have an affair? Are things over with your bf? I would seriously consider whether your H is ever going to give up other women or just continue to use you. I personally don't see what it is about him that you want back. I know that was harsh, but I don't like that you are being used and don't even know it.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
