So, getting a divorce means 'freedom' from being responsible for me. Freedom to find men who share her interests and look for that 'deep loving relationship' she thought she had found with OM. She thinks she has to have it, and that since she is not 'in love' with me but has successfully shut off her feelings for me then our life together is over forever.

Hi Frank,

pleasure to meet you.
Why, I would certainly think that we are married to the same person if our spouses were not, judging by your gender, of two different genders.
BTW, my H's premise is that he's unique, and he does and says unique things.
So maybe there's a chance you're married to his lost twin?

To get through the darkest period of the night, act as if it is already morning. The Talmud