Frank ~ You do a very good job at writing about what is happening. You practically give all of us a picture into your home and your interactions with your wife. But being on the outside, we have that detached view you struggle so hard to obtain. Maybe it's just me - and God knows you get much deeper insights from some others on the board - but what I see now is that a MAJOR roadblock was just REMOVED. The OM is history. HALLELUJAH! Now of course you were disheartened by your FIL's words but remember, he's not a DBer and he doesn't really know anything other than what his daughter SAID. Remember: Believe none of what you hear. WAWs (even if they still live under the same roof) will talk so much about leaving and becoming independent but it is mostly to convince themselves they're going to do it. The more talking they do, the less sure of it they are. I speak from experience.
You still have a lot going for you. You can still turn this all around. I really believe that about your sitch.
Now as far as the little moments that you two have, the foot rubs, etc...maybe you need to set some boundaries. I know what those times mean to you but she needs to realize what she'll be walking away from. That's just a thought.
Yesterday on my thread I wrote about what my Pastor taught us in church. You may find it interesting in the sense of what you can be for your wife. If you have a minute hop over and read it. I think I titled it "I didn't FEEL like going to church"...something like that. To me it was enlightening, to you it may be redundant because you already do very well at encouraging her. You won't know unless you read it, though.
Anyway, mine is just one bird's eye view but I definitely would not count Frank_D out of the DBing game just yet.
